Smiling at the skies
by Milisante
Summary: Sometimes it’s so sad that you want to smile" - TeFu only, phone talking, rated T for sadness and unpredictable future.


**Smiling at the skies.**

**Fandom:** Prince of Tennis.

_I do not own it. I do not intend to._

**Pairing:** None.

TeFu. Just relationships.

**Rating**: still T for sadness.

**Warning**: if you're not sure, just don't read. I, myself, was a little bit sad. Don't know why. Maybe the song is really great. I have no idea. Maybe some thoughts are really close to mine. Who knows…

It's not death though.

**Inspiration:** JaeJoong (DBSK) - Insa

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--

_If _the skies_ are smiling at you it means you're dead. So smile at the skies showing you're still alive._

_Even if you want to cry – don't suppress it. If you want to laugh – don't hide it. If you need to love – just love._

--

_1. Phone talking._

"Sometimes it's so sad that you want to smile. You're looking at the dark clouds and feel salt tears in your eyes."

"I've never thought about it"

"You've never cried"

"Actually, I did cry. But I was still a child and my granddad hadn't told me that men couldn't cry yet."

"Oh!"

"Sorry, that's awkward to say…"

"Ne, Tezuka, there's nothing awkward, when it's 3 in the morning, so don't ever apologize to me".

Silence.

You don't know what to answer. That was me, after all, me who called, who asked to talk. When did it start? Do you remember?

It was the last year of high school, when my world finally collapsed. The word doesn't suit really, but it's beautiful.

I've got friends and my family is happy together. Yuuta returned home and changed schools. Have no idea why. Don't care in fact.

But still I'm lonely, watching as years pass by.

I begin to think that loneliness's the only thing that's eternal.

"Sorry", you say and make me frightened. It's been a long time since our first time talking like that, but now it's getting more and more frustrating. You've changed. A lot. And there's no way you tell me why. I wonder. I am afraid to hear, that's why you only listen to me. That's why we both never cross the line.

"Never again".

"Sure, just this one", you sigh and I want to turn off the phone.

"Oishi told me you're going to come back home. Is that true?" it's been a week ago since the news. I never do corrections in timeline. I can't be that careless with you.

"Yes, no point to stay here longer".

"But you wanted to play! And I remember you've won that championship in Germany! So…"

"Fuji…"

Haven't I stopped myself all this time? No, no, don't make me cry, please. Not you. You're the only one who answered that night, that's why you're so precious. Yes, you are.

I was so scared then, so I tried some numbers, but nobody picked up. It was too late, they were too busy, they were just friends. I can't ask for more. No one can.

But you were there for me.

Maybe it was all simply a chance, or the difference in time. Doesn't matter already.

"I'll be back soon, so we'll talk it over", your words make me smile happily. Just like before we parted, just like all these years, while you stoically listened to my blabbing.

"Sure, good night! I need to wake up early tomorrow," I can imagine you nod and frown a little. You always say that I should care about myself. I like it, but we're different. I'll never be able to live as planned.

I switch off the dim light in the bedroom and mutter "thanks" to you, wherever you are.

--

_2. Sadness._

A long awaited meeting of Seigaku champions. You haven't come. But I know you're back in the city. What should I think?

Actually, you're right. Talking on the phone is not enough to be friends.

I agree. And I'm not sure indeed if I want to see you again. We're grownups already, we've gone through different troubles and stories, and we've changed. Me too. I realized it watching my childhood friends again. How strange.

How sad…

--

_3. That's what I was afraid of._

I do not remember the last time I ran so fast. I train usually, I still play tennis, but it's all just for fun. Not now...

'_I hate you, liar!'_

That's what I screamed hysterically looking at your face. I gained some strength to go and see you, but it wasn't enough to admit what I'd always suspected.

Your face is beautiful like before and your eyes are strict and charming, but…you're paralyzed…

"It was an accident, Fuji. Don't look at me like this. I simply can't walk anymore, but they say I'm moving much better… there's a chance that…" you try to calm me down, and I see the same you. But the world's changed. My world finally collapsed.

I didn't want to hear. I cried because of my shuttered dreams. I can't explain it, won't even try.

It's so painful. Why are you making me weak and sad?

--

_4. Selfishness. _

My sister says that it's selfishness to show tears to anyone.

I don't mind showing you.

You're breaking my heart asking me to care about myself, to leave you, to find a perfect wife and have some children.

I'm not that old yet. I've just graduated. The career is the first priority along with you. All that I do, I do it only for myself. Conceited and foolish. But I prefer it that way.

There's still no point in our relationships. Just a feeling of loneliness we share.

You're still stoic and do not ask for anything. Your condition is getting worse, sometimes you can't even eat and your voice is weak. It does hurt me, but there's no way I'll throw away something that precious to me. My heart will die as well.

--

_5. Smile for me. _

"Are you sad?" you're looking at the dark clouds with those deep brown eyes.

The sea. That's what you asked for a birthday present. Good choice. I like it here too.

"Why is that?"

"You're smiling…" memories make you sentimental.

"Oh! That's not it now!" you are my friend after all. You see through me even fighting for breath. "I'm just smiling at the sky to show we're alive. For both of us. Your face is always so stony." I pretend laughing.

You do not answer. But later you smile, holding your head as high as you're able to. And I can't be happier knowing it's for me.

--

_And it's not the end, even if you're told so._

_--_

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a/n: Thank you for reading! I hope it wasn't a waste of time! ))) Anyways, thank you. And if you read it, please, leave a review.


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